As it's the festive season, a time for family and friends to get together, I thought now would be the time to update my blog!
Had quite a nice (if not brief) Christmas with the family! Dad seemed to be aware that it was Christmas most of the time (he gets very confused about days). Although I had to double up on Christmas shopping this year, also making sure that mum had presents to open on Christmas morning from dad as well as from me! It was important to make it special and be together, as we can't be sure what next year has in store.
I think for any carer, what they really want is someone to talk to, a break from the 24-7 pressure they're under, a sense of normality to some extent! Oh, and she now has an iPad - a worthwhile investment for anyone who is unable to leave the house (she can play games, read newspapers, FaceTime). At times, I think she want to present on This Morning in The Hub!
Mum has great friends and neighbours nearby who pop in. Even just 5 mins having somebody to chat to can be a welcome break from what can be a tiring and sometimes repetitive day!
So to next year...in October I'll be walking the Great Wall of China to raise money for Alzheimer's Society! I've been thinking about doing something for a while, and now actually put plans into action! Thank you to everyone who's donated so far, it really does mean a lot, especially at this time of year! I need to raise £3000 by summer, which will go to fund much needed research into a heartbreaking disease that so far has no cure!
If you'd like to donate, even just £1, click HERE link to my JustGiving page, or you can text "XAGX75 £1/5/10" to 70070! Thank you!
Monday, 26 December 2011
Monday, 25 July 2011
Trying to cope
When I wrote my first blog, I said the reason was to share my (and my family’s) experiences of living with a family member (my dad) who has Alzheimer's. In my personal circumstances it‘s my mum who is the main carer, the one who has to be with him 24/7 (and has been for the last 40 years or marriage). It’s not something she wants to give up, and even though he attends a day care centre twice a week (to give her time to do day-to-day things like housework and shopping), she sends him reluctantly!
What has never happened since he was first diagnosed was to treat him differently. Although there are certain things he can’t do (for example, going out alone), other day-to-day responsibilities (like making tea…and he brew’s up a LOT) we let him get on with. I think it’s important to let anybody who may not be as capable as we are, to retain as much independence as possible. Never give up on life! I think it’s something many nursing homes should consider - putting people in a chair in front of a television is not caring for them!
I think it’s also important to keep the mind as active as possible, which should be true for anyone (use it or loose it as the phrase goes). Even though his short-term memory isn’t very good, much of his long-term is! I was brought up in a house filled with music (radio’s on in EVERY room…dad’s fault), and his knowledge for music (lyrics etc) is still spot on. We find things he has a good recollection (music, past family holidays) of and talk about that. We’ve also found travelling keeps his mind active, so on my weekend visits home we often jump in the car and go for a drive. A weekend break to The Lake District recently also gave my mum a break from being trapped in the house! Even though he thought he was in Scotland, Wales or the Isle of Mann a few times…we didn’t half get around that weekend!
Possibly the hardest thing mum and I have had to deal with is answering awkward questions. During his ‘bad days’ (as mum calls them), he gets very confused about his surroundings! Even though they’ve lived in the same house for 20 years, he sometimes asks “to go home”. I find responding with a non-specific answer (for example “we’re staying here”) appeases him with out too much confusion.
Sometimes it’s tough and there are tears, but there’s also laughter! You have to keep smiling and sometimes (sensitively) see the funny side in some things! He asked me last week if I was still doing the breakfast show on Radio 1 - I did correct him on that one, “I’m NOT Chris Moyles”. He laughed!!!
What has never happened since he was first diagnosed was to treat him differently. Although there are certain things he can’t do (for example, going out alone), other day-to-day responsibilities (like making tea…and he brew’s up a LOT) we let him get on with. I think it’s important to let anybody who may not be as capable as we are, to retain as much independence as possible. Never give up on life! I think it’s something many nursing homes should consider - putting people in a chair in front of a television is not caring for them!
I think it’s also important to keep the mind as active as possible, which should be true for anyone (use it or loose it as the phrase goes). Even though his short-term memory isn’t very good, much of his long-term is! I was brought up in a house filled with music (radio’s on in EVERY room…dad’s fault), and his knowledge for music (lyrics etc) is still spot on. We find things he has a good recollection (music, past family holidays) of and talk about that. We’ve also found travelling keeps his mind active, so on my weekend visits home we often jump in the car and go for a drive. A weekend break to The Lake District recently also gave my mum a break from being trapped in the house! Even though he thought he was in Scotland, Wales or the Isle of Mann a few times…we didn’t half get around that weekend!
Possibly the hardest thing mum and I have had to deal with is answering awkward questions. During his ‘bad days’ (as mum calls them), he gets very confused about his surroundings! Even though they’ve lived in the same house for 20 years, he sometimes asks “to go home”. I find responding with a non-specific answer (for example “we’re staying here”) appeases him with out too much confusion.
Sometimes it’s tough and there are tears, but there’s also laughter! You have to keep smiling and sometimes (sensitively) see the funny side in some things! He asked me last week if I was still doing the breakfast show on Radio 1 - I did correct him on that one, “I’m NOT Chris Moyles”. He laughed!!!
Monday, 20 June 2011
Living with Alzheimers
Forgive me for using a title that at first may seem misleading - ‘Remembering dad’ may lead you to believe that my dad is no longer with us…well he is, but in a way the dad I know and remember isn‘t.
Two years ago dad (aged 67) was finally diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, the most common form of dementia. We’d suspected for a few years that things weren’t right, we’ve all had ‘senior moments’ at any age (leaving tea bags in cups), but it takes a long time for actual diagnosis. Right now he knows who his family are (I’m an only child, mum is his full time carer), but other memories are fading (he sometimes gets confused about where he is even when he’s at home, dates confuse him, he finds it difficult to keep up with conversation, etc)
So, why write this blog? A number of reasons! Mainly, when something affects you personally, you find comfort in connecting with people in a similar situation! If, we’re lucky we’ll get to see our parents grow old, and there could come a time when the hand that helped you walk, becomes the hand you’re holding to now help them.
Also, June has been a celebratory month for my family. Dad turned 70 a few weeks ago, yesterday was fathers dad, and next week my parents celebrate their Ruby Wedding Anniversary (yep, 40 years with the SAME person). The last year or so has made me realise that life is worth celebrating, and every moment should be an opportunity to make a memory! I know there will come a time when my dad won’t know who I am.
I’m not going to get mournful or depressing, or share medical research. I just want to share my experiences of dealing with family member who may have dementia. Maybe there’ll be something you can relate to, maybe there’s experiences you can share with me. It’s a disease where the patient has the condition, but it’s those around them that are affected more.
I’ll blog every few weeks, meanwhile feel free to leave any commenst or stories you may have…
Two years ago dad (aged 67) was finally diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, the most common form of dementia. We’d suspected for a few years that things weren’t right, we’ve all had ‘senior moments’ at any age (leaving tea bags in cups), but it takes a long time for actual diagnosis. Right now he knows who his family are (I’m an only child, mum is his full time carer), but other memories are fading (he sometimes gets confused about where he is even when he’s at home, dates confuse him, he finds it difficult to keep up with conversation, etc)
So, why write this blog? A number of reasons! Mainly, when something affects you personally, you find comfort in connecting with people in a similar situation! If, we’re lucky we’ll get to see our parents grow old, and there could come a time when the hand that helped you walk, becomes the hand you’re holding to now help them.
Also, June has been a celebratory month for my family. Dad turned 70 a few weeks ago, yesterday was fathers dad, and next week my parents celebrate their Ruby Wedding Anniversary (yep, 40 years with the SAME person). The last year or so has made me realise that life is worth celebrating, and every moment should be an opportunity to make a memory! I know there will come a time when my dad won’t know who I am.
I’m not going to get mournful or depressing, or share medical research. I just want to share my experiences of dealing with family member who may have dementia. Maybe there’ll be something you can relate to, maybe there’s experiences you can share with me. It’s a disease where the patient has the condition, but it’s those around them that are affected more.
I’ll blog every few weeks, meanwhile feel free to leave any commenst or stories you may have…
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