What has never happened since he was first diagnosed was to treat him differently. Although there are certain things he can’t do (for example, going out alone), other day-to-day responsibilities (like making tea…and he brew’s up a LOT) we let him get on with. I think it’s important to let anybody who may not be as capable as we are, to retain as much independence as possible. Never give up on life! I think it’s something many nursing homes should consider - putting people in a chair in front of a television is not caring for them!
I think it’s also important to keep the mind as active as possible, which should be true for anyone (use it or loose it as the phrase goes). Even though his short-term memory isn’t very good, much of his long-term is! I was brought up in a house filled with music (radio’s on in EVERY room…dad’s fault), and his knowledge for music (lyrics etc) is still spot on. We find things he has a good recollection (music, past family holidays) of and talk about that. We’ve also found travelling keeps his mind active, so on my weekend visits home we often jump in the car and go for a drive. A weekend break to The Lake District recently also gave my mum a break from being trapped in the house! Even though he thought he was in Scotland, Wales or the Isle of Mann a few times…we didn’t half get around that weekend!
Possibly the hardest thing mum and I have had to deal with is answering awkward questions. During his ‘bad days’ (as mum calls them), he gets very confused about his surroundings! Even though they’ve lived in the same house for 20 years, he sometimes asks “to go home”. I find responding with a non-specific answer (for example “we’re staying here”) appeases him with out too much confusion.
Sometimes it’s tough and there are tears, but there’s also laughter! You have to keep smiling and sometimes (sensitively) see the funny side in some things! He asked me last week if I was still doing the breakfast show on Radio 1 - I did correct him on that one, “I’m NOT Chris Moyles”. He laughed!!!
