Two years ago dad (aged 67) was finally diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, the most common form of dementia. We’d suspected for a few years that things weren’t right, we’ve all had ‘senior moments’ at any age (leaving tea bags in cups), but it takes a long time for actual diagnosis. Right now he knows who his family are (I’m an only child, mum is his full time carer), but other memories are fading (he sometimes gets confused about where he is even when he’s at home, dates confuse him, he finds it difficult to keep up with conversation, etc)
So, why write this blog? A number of reasons! Mainly, when something affects you personally, you find comfort in connecting with people in a similar situation! If, we’re lucky we’ll get to see our parents grow old, and there could come a time when the hand that helped you walk, becomes the hand you’re holding to now help them.
Also, June has been a celebratory month for my family. Dad turned 70 a few weeks ago, yesterday was fathers dad, and next week my parents celebrate their Ruby Wedding Anniversary (yep, 40 years with the SAME person). The last year or so has made me realise that life is worth celebrating, and every moment should be an opportunity to make a memory! I know there will come a time when my dad won’t know who I am.
I’m not going to get mournful or depressing, or share medical research. I just want to share my experiences of dealing with family member who may have dementia. Maybe there’ll be something you can relate to, maybe there’s experiences you can share with me. It’s a disease where the patient has the condition, but it’s those around them that are affected more.
I’ll blog every few weeks, meanwhile feel free to leave any commenst or stories you may have…
Many years ago I looked after my Nana quite a bit after school. Like you I noticed little things, boxes in the wrong places etc and my Nan was such an ordered woman it was just wrong.
ReplyDeleteI was 15 at the time and remember voicing my fears to my parents. Not long after that she began to wander and we began to realise that not only was this Alzheimers, but that it was progressing rapidly.
The next few months passed with tears of sadness and laughter in some cases. Sometimes she'd realise that she'd done something funny and laugh along with us, other times were sad as she forgot she owned her little Yorkie who'd been her constant companion for ten years.
We reached that horrible point of realisation where we knew that for her safety something needed to be done, I recall I was going to talk to her about it that night, only when I got there I found she had passed away peacefully in her sleep.
It touched me briefly, and I'm in no doubt that I only witnessed a fleeting moment of this horrible disease. As you rightly say Andy, one of the few illnesses that is truly saddening to watch.
Thanks for your comment Jane, sorry to hear about your Nan. You're right though, it's a mixture of sadness and laugher. Makes you appreciate the time you get to spend with people more.
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